Whispers before dawn

إِلٰهِي لَا تُؤَدِّبْنِي بِعُقُوبَتِكَ، وَلَا تَمْكُرْ بِي فِي حِيلَتِكَ. مِنْ أَيْنَ لِيَ الْخَيْرُ يَا رَبِّ وَلَا يُوجَدُ إِلَّا مِنْ عِنْدِكَ؟ وَمِنْ أَيْنَ لِيَ النَّجَاةُ وَلَا تُسْتَطَاعُ إِلَّا بِكَ؟ لَا الَّذِي أَحْسَنَ اسْتَغْنَىٰ عَنْ عَوْنِكَ وَرَحْمَتِكَ، وَلَا الَّذِي أَسَاءَ وَاجْتَرَأَ عَلَيْكَ وَلَمْ يُرْضِكَ خَرَجَ عَنْ قُدْرَتِكَ.

My God, do not discipline me with Your punishment, and do not draw me into Your hidden plan. From where can good come to me, my Lord, when it is found only with You? And from where can rescue come to me, when it cannot be reached except through You? The one who does good has no escape from needing Your help and mercy, and the one who has done evil and dared against You and not pleased You has not stepped outside Your power.

يَا رَبِّ يَا رَبِّ يَا رَبِّ! قَوِّ عَلَىٰ خِدْمَتِكَ جَوَارِحِي، وَاشْدُدْ عَلَى الْعَزِيمَةِ جَوَانِحِي، وَهَبْ لِيَ الْجِدَّ فِي خَشْيَتِكَ، وَالدَّوَامَ فِي الِاتِّصَالِ بِخِدْمَتِكَ، حَتَّىٰ أَسْرَحَ إِلَيْكَ فِي مَيَادِينِ السَّابِقِينَ، وَأُسْرِعَ إِلَيْكَ فِي الْمُبَادِرِينَ، وَأَشْتَاقَ إِلَىٰ قُرْبِكَ فِي الْمُشْتَاقِينَ، وَأَدْنُوَ مِنْكَ دُنُوَّ الْمُخْلِصِينَ، وَأَخَافَكَ مَخَافَةَ الْمُوقِنِينَ، وَأَجْتَمِعَ فِي جِوَارِكَ مَعَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ.

My Lord, my Lord, my Lord! Strengthen my limbs in Your service, fortify my ribs with resolve, grant me earnestness in Your reverence, and a continual connection to Your worship — so that I may run toward You in the fields of those who race ahead, hurry to You among the foremost, long for nearness to You among the longing, draw near to You as the sincere ones draw near, fear You with the fear of those who know with certainty, and gather in Your neighbourhood with the believers.

إِلٰهِي إِلَيْكَ أَشْكُو نَفْسًا بِالسُّوءِ أَمَّارَةً، وَإِلَى الْخَطِيئَةِ مُبَادِرَةً، وَبِمَعَاصِيكَ مُولَعَةً، وَلِسَخَطِكَ مُتَعَرِّضَةً. تَسْلُكُ بِي مَسَالِكَ الْمَهَالِكِ، وَتَجْعَلُنِي عِنْدَكَ أَهْوَنَ هَالِكٍ. كَثِيرَةَ الْعِلَلِ، طَوِيلَةَ الْأَمَلِ، إِنْ مَسَّهَا الشَّرُّ تَجْزَعْ، وَإِنْ مَسَّهَا الْخَيْرُ تَمْنَعْ.

My God, to You I complain of a soul that constantly commands evil, that hurries toward sin, that is eager for what You hate, and that exposes itself to Your displeasure. It walks me through the paths of ruin and makes me, before You, the most contemptible of those who perish. It has many flaws and long hopes; if evil touches it, it panics; if good touches it, it withholds.

إِلٰهِي أَنْتَ الَّذِي تُفِيضُ سَيْبَكَ عَلَىٰ مَنْ لَا يَسْأَلُكَ، وَعَلَى الْجَاحِدِينَ بِرُبُوبِيَّتِكَ، فَكَيْفَ سَيِّدِي بِمَنْ سَأَلَكَ وَأَيْقَنَ أَنَّ الْخَلْقَ لَكَ وَالْأَمْرَ إِلَيْكَ؟ تَبَارَكْتَ وَتَعَالَيْتَ يَا رَبَّ الْعَالَمِينَ. سَيِّدِي، عَبْدُكَ بِبَابِكَ، أَقَامَتْهُ الْخَصَاصَةُ بَيْنَ يَدَيْكَ. يَقْرَعُ بَابَ إِحْسَانِكَ بِدُعَائِهِ، فَلَا تُعْرِضْ بِوَجْهِكَ الْكَرِيمِ عَنِّي، وَتَقَبَّلْ مِنِّي مَا أَقُولُ، فَإِنِّي قَدْ دَعَوْتُ بِهٰذَا الدُّعَاءِ، وَأَرْجُو مِنْكَ أَلَّا تَرُدَّنِي.

My God, You are the one who pours forth Your gifts upon those who do not ask You, and even upon those who deny Your lordship. So how, my Master, will You treat the one who has asked You, and is certain that all creation is Yours and that all command returns to You? Blessed and exalted are You, Lord of the worlds. My Master, Your servant is at Your door; need has placed him before You. He knocks at the door of Your kindness with his supplication. Do not turn Your noble face away from me, and accept from me what I say, for I have called upon You with this du'a, hoping that You will not turn me away.

إِلٰهِي إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ أَنْ تَأْذَنَ لِي بِزِيَارَةِ بَيْتِكَ الْحَرَامِ، وَزِيَارَةِ قَبْرِ نَبِيِّكَ صَلَوَاتُكَ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ، وَقُبُورِ الْأَئِمَّةِ عَلَيْهِمُ السَّلَامُ. أَسْأَلُكَ أَنْ تُحْيِيَنِي حَيَاةً طَيِّبَةً تُنْتَظَمُ بِمَا أُحِبُّ، وَتَبْلُغُنِي مَا أُحِبُّ، وَلَا تَحْمِلَنِي فِيهَا مَا أَكْرَهُ، وَأَنْ تُرْزَقَنِي حُبَّكَ، وَحُبَّ مَنْ يُحِبُّكَ، وَحُبَّ كُلِّ عَمَلٍ يُوصِلُنِي إِلَىٰ قُرْبِكَ، وَأَنْ تَجْعَلَكَ أَحَبَّ إِلَيَّ مِمَّا سِوَاكَ.

My God, I ask You to permit me to visit Your sacred House, and the grave of Your Prophet — Your blessings be upon him and his family — and the graves of the Imams, peace be upon them. I ask You to grant me a wholesome life, ordered by what I love and reaching what I love, and not burdened by what I dislike. And I ask You to provide me with Your love, and the love of those who love You, and the love of every act that brings me near to You — and to make You more beloved to me than anything besides You.

إِلٰهِي أَتُرَاكَ بَعْدَ الْإِيمَانِ بِكَ تُعَذِّبُنِي؟ أَمْ بَعْدَ حُبِّي إِيَّاكَ تُبَعِّدُنِي؟ أَمْ مَعَ رَجَائِي لِرَحْمَتِكَ تَحْرِمُنِي؟ أَمْ مَعَ اسْتِجَارَتِي بِعَفْوِكَ تُسْلِمُنِي؟ هَيْهَاتَ، أَنْتَ أَكْرَمُ مِنْ أَنْ تُضَيِّعَ مَنْ رَبَّيْتَهُ، أَوْ تُبَعِّدَ مَنْ أَدْنَيْتَهُ، أَوْ تُشَرِّدَ مَنْ آوَيْتَهُ، أَوْ تُسَلِّمَ إِلَى الْبَلَاءِ مَنْ كَفَيْتَهُ وَرَحِمْتَهُ.

My God, do You really see me, after my belief in You, being punished by You? After my love for You, being driven away by You? With my hope in Your mercy, being deprived by You? With my seeking refuge in Your pardon, being abandoned by You? Far be it from You — You are too generous to lose the one You have raised, to drive away the one You have drawn close, to scatter the one You have sheltered, or to hand over to suffering the one You have sufficed and shown mercy.

اللّٰهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَىٰ مُحَمَّدٍ وَآلِ مُحَمَّدٍ، وَاكْفِنِي مَا أَهَمَّنِي مِنْ أَمْرِ دُنْيَايَ وَآخِرَتِي، وَافْعَلْ بِي مَا أَنْتَ أَهْلُهُ، وَلَا تَفْعَلْ بِي مَا أَنَا أَهْلُهُ. وَصَلَّى اللّٰهُ عَلَىٰ مُحَمَّدٍ النَّبِيِّ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ تَسْلِيمًا كَثِيرًا.

O Allah, send blessings upon Muhammad and the family of Muhammad. Suffice me in what concerns me of this world and the next. Treat me as is worthy of You, and do not treat me as I deserve. May Allah send His blessings upon Muhammad the Prophet and his family, with abundant peace.